How Do I Say This?: Our Family Chaos Has Gotten Out Of Control

Many people realize how chaotic their families are in adulthood. You may notice that your family of origin is chaotic or even the family you’ve created yourself. It can be so helpful to recognize this and attempt to get back on track. You are allowed to (and can) create a life that doesn’t always feel like it’s on fire.

It’s important to remember that every family has some chaos, especially during certain seasons of life. A family with young children is probably going to present as much more chaotic when compared to an elderly married couple. If you want to work on the level of chaos in your family, it may be important to bring it up with other family members and get them on board.

Here are some examples:

• “Our mornings with the kids feel really overwhelming. Can we sit down and plan a better schedule together?”
• “Our holidays feel really rushed and chaotic. I want us to be able to enjoy ourselves this year. Can we work together to get organized in advance this year?”
• “I know everyone in the family is struggling, and things are hard right now. I can’t be available for every crisis while I’m at work.”
• “I want to be able to help you with this, and I have to do it this afternoon. Can we set up a time to walk and work on this?”

As always, working on family chaos and these suggestions will only work with people who are open and willing. If you have family members who would not accept these statements and who are unwilling to work on their own chaotic tendencies, you may need to set boundaries and work on this yourself.