Steps to Break the Cycle of Dysfunctional Relationships

You can use this step-by-step guide to help you begin breaking the cycle of dysfunctional relationships in adulthood.

Step 1: Recognize Your Unconscious Patterns

• Reflect on your past relationships and common themes.
• Exercise: Write down the last 3 relationships (or significant romantic experiences) and what they had in common.

Step 2: Identify the Root Cause

• Use these prompts to explore how early experiences shaped your expectations about love, partnership, or friendship.
  • What did I crave most in childhood but didn’t receive?
  • What is the definition of “love” in my family?
  • What am I seeking in my relationships that I didn’t get from my family?

Step 3: Spot Red Flags Early

• Make a list of typical “red flags” or signs of problematic behavior that you typically choose to avoid. Then, create a system for regularly checking in with those signs.

Step 4: Rewire Your Attraction Blueprint

• Imagine being in a relationship that feels safe, secure, and fulfilling. What does that look like? Create a clear image of what a healthy relationship is for you.

Step 5: Practice Intentional Dating & Boundaries

• Work on choosing partners from a place of self-worth, not childhood wounds.
• Ask yourself, What behaviors will I no longer tolerate in relationships?

Step 6: Commit to Healing & Growth

• Breaking the cycle is a process. It does not happen overnight. What will you do every day to work towards this goal?