Book Recommendation: Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America

Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America by Kate Washington is a book about doing the invisible work of keeping someone alive. Washington writes with honesty and depth about love, obligation, resentment, and the impossible logistics of caregiving in America, without romanticizing any of it.

For adults supporting a sick, disabled, or dying family member, especially in the context of estrangement or dysfunction, this book offers companionship and validation that’s hard to find. It shows that burnout is not a personal failure but a predictable outcome of doing too much in a system that gives caregivers almost no support.

Washington gives language to the complicated emotional reality of caregiving, how you can love someone deeply and still feel resentful, exhausted, or angry. She models how to care while saying no, how to step back without abandoning your values, and how to name your limits without apology. For anyone who has struggled to balance care with self-preservation, her story is both deeply validating and profoundly practical.

The book also offers a broader social and cultural perspective, explaining how gender, economics, and outdated family expectations trap many women in unpaid, unacknowledged labor. Washington’s reflections help you see that your exhaustion isn’t just about your family, it’s also about a system that makes care invisible. It speaks to those who want to help but need to do it safely, at a distance, or within firm boundaries. It also reminds us that love is not measured by how depleted you are, and resentment isn’t proof that you don’t care.