Families tend to cater to the most dysfunctional person in the family as a way to keep the peace.
Let’s work through an example.
Grandpa is 80 years old. He is grumpy 24/7 and constantly picking on everyone from the comfort of his rocking chair. He always has a beer in his hand, and everyone is a potential target in his presence. The more he drinks, the worse he gets.
What do you do in this situation? Do you laugh it off and tell the 12-year-old, “That’s just Grandpa. don’t listen to him.” Or, do you look at Grandpa and say, “It’s not ok to insult him like that.”
Many families would choose Grandpa’s comfort in this moment. They would choose to “keep the peace” by asking the person being insulted to swallow it and brush it off. They’re worried about what will happen if they confront the dysfunction head-on.
And, when we do this, we are sending a very clear message: Whatever you do, keep Grandpa happy. Do not upset him. Do not rock the boat.
Maybe you have a “Grandpa” in your life. It’s that person that everyone seems to cater to no matter what. Maybe you’ve been asked to keep the peace, swallow the insults, and not rock the boat. Maybe you’ve learned this is actually the “best” thing to do.
And what if I told you that doing this will only ensure that every generation of your family has someone just like Grandpa, sitting in that chair, hurling insults, with a beer in hand, until someone decides it has to end.
Catering to the most dysfunctional person in the family will give you temporary peace and endless generational dysfunction. There is another way, and we‘ll show you how inside The Family Cyclebreakers Club.