What To Say When You Run Into An Estranged Family Member In Public

Running into an estranged family member in public can be awkward and emotionally charged. It’s important to have some potential responses planned out if this happens. It may not eliminate your anxiety, but it will help you feel more prepared.

Here are some different responses for when you run into an estranged family member in public:

Avoid and Ignore

You can choose not to say anything to the person. You may leave the location without acknowledging them or see them and say nothing.

Neutral

If you want to keep things cordial but don’t feel ready for a deeper conversation, you can say something brief and polite:

• "Hi, it’s been a while. How have you been?"
• "Good to see you. I hope you’re doing well."
• "Hi. I hope things are going well for you."

These phrases acknowledge the person without diving into the past or your issues. But, some of them do invite more conversation.

Acknowledging the Distance or Time

If you're open to acknowledging that there has been distance.

• "It’s been a long time. How’s everything going?"
• "Wow, it’s been forever. Hope things are good with you."
• "Hey, it’s been a while. We’ve been very busy, but it’s good to see you.”

Open to Reconnection

If you feel open to potentially reconnecting and want to show that, you could say something like:

• "It’s nice to see you. I know we haven’t spoken in a while—how have you been?"
• "I’ve thought about you a lot. I hope you’re doing well."
• "I’m glad we ran into each other. Maybe we can talk sometime?"

This signals that you’re interested in possibly rebuilding the relationship without putting pressure on the moment. I would not say these things unless you have been hoping to run into them and initiate some type of reconciliation or connection.

Keep it Very Brief

If you're not comfortable engaging for long but want to remain civil:

• "Hi. Hope you’re good."
• "Hey, hope you’re doing okay. I have to run."
• "Hi, [their name]. Gotta go, but good to see you!"

This lets you acknowledge them but keep the interaction very brief and cordial.

If You Want to Discuss the Situation

If you think it might be an opportunity to clear the air, but you’re not sure how far to go, you can start cautiously:

• "It’s been a while, and I know things were complicated. Do you think we could talk sometime?"
• "I know we haven’t been in touch, but I’d like to find a way to move forward."
• "I’m open to having a conversation if you are, whenever you’re ready."

This acknowledges that there’s been distance but shows openness to discussion or reconciliation.

Remember:

• Be prepared for any kind of response, whether positive or negative, and set boundaries if necessary.
• Stay calm and avoid bringing up past conflicts in a crowded setting, especially if emotions are still raw.
• Control your exit—if you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed, it’s okay to remove yourself.