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Dysfunctional Family Holidays & Opting Out

Phrases For Telling Others You’re Not Coming

December 8th, 2025

Use these scripts when letting people know you can't make it to the holiday gathering. Personalize them to your situation as needed.

If you’re not able to make it this year or you’re purposefully skipping the holiday events, here are some scripts to help you explain your decision.

How to tell people you can't make it to the holidays
  • “Thank you for the invite. I’m keeping things low-key this year.”
  • “I’m already booked that day, but I really appreciate you thinking of me.”
  • “That event sounds great, but I need some downtime that weekend.”
  • “I can’t make it this year, but I hope it’s wonderful.”
  • “I’m not up for hosting this year, but I hope it’s great.”
  • “We are not able to come this year.”
  • “I really appreciate the invite, and I know we normally do come. I understand that you’re disappointed, and we won’t be able to be there this year.”
  • “We are not coming this year. Our relationship has not been good, and I think we need to take a year off.”