Boundaries for the Holidays

Here are several boundary scripts you can use during the holiday season for finances, time, conversations, and more.

Time and Attendance

• “I’ll be coming for a few hours, but I’ll be heading out by 7.”
• “I’m going to step outside or take a short break.”
• “I want to be fully present while I’m there, so I’m planning to come later in the afternoon.”
• “I’m happy to help with one part of the day, but I can’t take on the whole event.”

Financial and Gift-Giving Boundaries

• “I’m skipping the gift exchange this time, but I’d love to spend time together.”
• “Travel and gifts aren’t in my budget this year, but I’d love to connect in another way.”
• “I’m setting a limit for myself this year. I hope you understand.”

Food and Diet

• “I brought something that works for me, please don’t worry about it.”
• “I eat differently now for health reasons, but I really appreciate you including me.”

Ending uncomfortable dialogue

• Change the subject.
• “That’s something I’m not comfortable discussing.”
• “Let’s talk about something lighter. How’s your new job going?”
• “I’m going to step away for a minute.”
• “I care about you, but I’m not available for that conversation.”

Parenting and Children

• “We’re trying to keep our child’s routine the same while we’re visiting. Thanks for understanding.”
• “Thank you for the advice, but we’re doing what works best for us.”
• “Please check with me before giving them food or gifts.”