How To Respond When You Don’t Have The Words
It’s a great idea to have a system in place for when you become overwhelmed to help your loved ones help you and communicate in those moments.
Sometimes, when you are feeling reactive, overwhelmed, or during a panic attack, you cannot find the words to respond or tell someone that you’re overwhelmed. It’s a great idea to have a system in place when this happens to help your loved ones know how to help you and communicate in those moments.
- Become aware of your signs of emotional flooding and communicate them to your household or support person(s).
The more aware you are that you’re becoming flooded, the more likely you will be able to calm your nervous system and communicate effectively. Some common symptoms of emotional flooding are:
- tunnel vision or trouble seeing
- compromised hearing
- sweating
- upset stomach
- muscle tightness
- rapid heartbeat
- emotions feel all over the place
- difficulty focusing or processing information
- feeling like you want to flee or run
- Identify your ideal methods for co-regulation.
Co-regulation is how we help each other heal from trauma or distress. A nervous system that is consistently co-regulated will eventually learn to regulate itself. Co-regulation helps manage distress for both partners, allowing connection, safety, and the development of improved self-regulation skills.
- light touch
- putting an arm around them
- making and maintaining eye contact
- using a calm voice
- audibly sighing and encouraging them to do this too
- breathing in and out slowly next to them
- leaning on one another
- asking what they can tolerate before using more touch
- becoming aware of your own distress
- taking a time out when needed
- Identify your triggers and subsequent behaviors and use your answers to have a dialogue with your support person(s).
I usually feel triggered when this happens:
These are some signs I am emotionally flooded:
When I am emotionally flooded, this is where I feel it in my body:
When I am emotionally flooded, I sometimes say things like:
If you notice I am emotionally flooded, you can help me by:
When I am ready to talk or connect again, I will show you by: