Parentification: When You Had To Be The Grown-Up
Every month at Calling Home, we focus on one powerful theme that shapes family life and relationships. For the month of November, we’re exploring parentification.
New content and groups begin on November 3, 2025, for members of The Family Cyclebreakers Club. Our entire content library and unlimited support groups are included with membership.
Understand what happened, how it shows up now, and how to heal.
If you grew up managing a parent’s moods, solving adult problems, or taking care of siblings before you were ready, you may have been parentified. Parentification is a role reversal where a child sacrifices their own needs for a parent’s emotional or practical needs. It can build remarkable strengths, and when it is chronic or developmentally inappropriate, it can be deeply harmful. This month at Calling Home, we’ll help you name it, map how it shows up today, and learn how to change the pattern without abandoning your values.
Is this you?
- You were praised for being “so good” and “so responsible,” and you do not really remember being a kid
- You were pulled into adult problems like money, marriage conflict, or a parent’s mental health
- Being in control feels safe, letting go or having fun feels hard
- You default to peacemaker or fixer in every relationship
- Your worth feels tied to what you do for others
- You feel guilty resting
- You care for everyone else and struggle to care for yourself
What we will cover this month
Week 1: Naming It
The two types, why they hurt, and what they can teach you.
Week 2: The Map
How childhood roles transfer into adult relationships, work, and caregiving.
Week 3: Changing the Dance
Boundaries, redistributing labor in families, saying no without burning bridges, and tolerating pushback.
Week 4: Healing and Using Your Strengths
Reparenting yourself, adding play and rest, avoiding parentification with your own kids, and using your strengths to grow.
Each week includes a new video lesson, an article, ready-to-use response scripts, and a fillable worksheet you can complete online or print.
What you will learn
- The difference between healthy responsibility, age-appropriate chores, and parentification
- How being the therapist, confidant, or stand-in spouse changes you
- How the responsibility of adult tasks and logistics shapes attachment, anxiety, and control
- Why you feel responsible for other people’s feelings and how to stop over-functioning
- Scripts for declining the mediator role and setting limits with parents, siblings, or partners
- A practical reparenting routine that includes structure, play, safety, community, and self-talk
- How to avoid repeating the pattern with your own children or in your relationship
You can do something different.
Become a member of the Family Cyclebreakers Club today.
What’s included when you join this month
- Four video lessons
- Four in-depth articles
- Four response scripts for parents, siblings, partners, and yourself
- Four fillable worksheets: Was I Parentified, Role Transfer Map, Boundary Reassignment Plan, My Reparenting Routine
- Therapist-led support groups
- Access to our library of past topics, worksheets, and scripts
- Member Q and A and replays
- Therapy guides
- Book recommendations