My #1 Piece Of Relationship Advice

3 Little Epiphanies

1. Being a cyclebreaker isn't always fun.
2. Don't partner with someone who cannot listen, empathize, and support you during hard times.
3. You can't control how people see you, even your family.

"Not everyone is excited to be a cyclebreaker. Some of us just know we have no other choice."

Listen to the February 13, 2025 Q&A

My #1 Piece of Relationship Advice: Don't partner with someone who cannot listen, empathize, and support you during hard times.

I have been a therapist for a decade. A partner who cannot empathize, listen, and offer support when things are hard is one of the biggest relationship challenges I encounter and it has the power to destroy relationships.

Support looks different for everyone. But, they need to have the capacity to support you (whatever that entails).

If they can only show up when things are good, you’re going to struggle.

If they get defensive, shut down, or are dismissive whenever you try to share how you feel, things are going to be really, really hard. Everyone has moments when they’re not the most supportive or they can’t show empathy. But, if you find yourself with someone who is always struggling in this area and has no intention of working on it, I want you to reflect:

• What will this be like for us if we decide to have children and they can’t listen and support me?
• What will this be like if I get sick and they can’t listen and support me?
• What will this be like if we have financial struggles?
• How will we navigate differences in opinion if I can’t share how I feel without it becoming a huge fight?

Hard times are 10x harder when the person you’re with cannot listen or show you support.