Responding to the Pull

These scripts are for the moments your family, or your own guilt, tries to pull you back into the scapegoat role.

If you are dealing with a family that responds with threats, abuse, or attacks on who you are, these are not the scripts for that situation. Take what fits, and change the words to sound like you.

The holidays

"I won't be there for dinner this year. I'll call you that morning."

"I know it would mean a lot to her. I've already made my plan for this year."

“I did not ruin the holiday dinner. Everyone played a role today.”

A family crisis

"I'm sorry this is happening. I need a little time before I decide what I can do. I'll get back to you tomorrow."

"I can drive her to the appointment on Tuesday. I'm not able to stay at the house."

“I know you’re struggling. I want to help you and I can’t do everything.”

Right after you set a limit

"I understand you see it differently. I'm keeping my plan."

"I hear that. I'm still not changing my mind."

“I am going to do it this way. Thanks for the input.”