Helping Yourself Accept

These are things you can say to yourself to stop adding suffering on top of pain. Read them out loud if you can, and change the words so they sound like you.

When you can’t stop replaying it

“I’m replaying this again to try to make it come out differently. But it already happened, and going over it one more time won’t change it. I don’t have to like what happened to stop fighting it in my head. Right now, it is what it is, and I can come back to it later if I truly need to.”

When you’re still waiting for the apology

“I may never get the apology I deserve. They may never admit it happened the way I know it did.”

When you want to go back for something they can’t give

“I keep going back to this person for something they’ve shown me, again and again, that they can’t give. I can accept that, and I can get this need met somewhere it actually exists.”

Dealing with grief

“This hurts because it mattered. I can hold both at once: this is a real loss, and my life can still be good and worth living.”