Boundaries That Are Rooted In Acceptance

Your boundary needs to be built around who someone actually is, not who you keep hoping they will become. Once you accept that your mother will criticize, that your father will not apologize, that your sibling will bring up the past, you stop setting boundaries as a last plea for them to change.

Here are some ways to communicate those boundaries. Change the wording until it sounds like you.

“That doesn’t work for me this year.”

“I’m not going to keep explaining this. You don’t have to agree with me. I’ve made my decision.”

“I’m not going to talk about my [parenting / weight / job / dating life] with you. If it keeps coming up, I’m going to change the subject or head home.”

On the way in: “I can stay for about an hour today.”

On the way out: “I’m going to head out now. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I may never get them to admit what happened, or to say they’re sorry. I don’t need their apology to know what I need.”