What to Say When a Parent Uses Their Illness to Guilt You Into Contact
These scripts will help adults who have an estranged or highly conflictual relationship with a manipulative parent who uses illness to guilt you.
Some parents are highly dysfunctional, abusive, or manipulative. They may use illness as a means to secure money or attention, even when there is no crisis or you have previously stated that you will not be in contact with them.
These scripts will help adults who have an estranged or highly conflictual relationship with this type of parent. As always, some of them may not be a good fit for your unique voice, personality, or situation. Use these scripts as a starting point for your own personalized script.
“I’m not able to help right now. I hope you have the support you need with your health.”
“I understand you’re unwell. I’m not in a place to help you right now.”
“I encourage you to reach out to your doctor.”
“I’m sorry you’re going through this. I can’t help today, but I hope you have other support in place.”
“I hear that you’re struggling. I’m not able to provide the help you’re asking for.”
“I know this is difficult. I can’t be your point of contact for medical issues.”
“Your illness does not change my decision.”
“I’m not able to give you money right now.”
“I can’t provide financial support.”
“If you continue to contact me about money, I won’t respond.”
Don’t respond.
Forward their message to someone who can help them.