What to Say When People Pressure You to Forgive the Dead (or the Estranged)

It’s normal for others to pressure you to forgive the dead or someone that you’re estranged from. It’s best to expect this will happen and have some different phrases prepared to help you in those moments. Remember, people usually do this when they are uncomfortable or they’re responding from their own belief system. It doesn’t always mean they’re right or that you should do what they want.

• “I’m not really in that place right now.”
• “Maybe someday, but not today.”
• “I hear you, but that’s not how I’m dealing with it.”
• “I appreciate your perspective, but I’m doing what feels right for me.”
• “Everyone processes things differently. I’m still figuring it out.”
• “Forgiveness isn’t automatic just because someone’s gone.”
• “I can’t just pretend everything's okay.”
• “I don’t owe them forgiveness. They never made things right.”
• “I’ve made peace with where I stand, even if we don’t reconcile.”
• “Forgiving someone doesn’t erase the impact they had on me.”
• “My feelings are my feelings, even if they make others uncomfortable.”