Functional Family Traits

Functional, healthy families still have conflict and problems. They are just able to adapt when facing a challenge and strive for closeness in moments of struggle.

Qualities Of Functional Families:

• Able to admit when there’s a problem (yes, they still have problems)

When functional families are experiencing distress, they discuss it and try to find a solution. They do this by having family meetings, asking how each member of the family is feeling, and being open to feedback.

• Have a culture that promotes open communication, discussion, finding solutions, and apologizing when there has been wrongdoing

Functioning families are able to say things like, “I see that I hurt you. How you feel matters to me. I’m sorry, and I’m going to do better.” They have open communication that allows members to feel safe sharing how they feel and what they need. This means that when someone shares they are not criticized or attacked for respectfully sharing their experience.

• Sense of trust and comfort

In functional families, there is a culture of trust. Home and being with family instills a sense of comfort and belonging. Members of functional families often describe a sense of feeling known and understood by the family without having to explain themselves much,

• Can count on each other

Functional families back up their words with actions. They keep their promises when possible and when they can’t, they communicate why and try to do better next time.

• No physical or emotional abuse or neglect

A family cannot function well if there is physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Members cannot use physical force or emotional manipulation. This must stop if the family is going to function well as a whole.

• Caregivers are reliable - they do what they say they will

In functional families, the leaders of the family are physically and emotionally reliable. This can be complicated by things like mental and physical illness and some families may struggle with this more than others.

• Developmentally appropriate rules are enforced

Functional families understand that the needs, wants, and limits of the family members evolve over time. The family allows people to have space to grow and try new things, while also keeping them safe. Children are protected by adults and allowed to grow into their own unique people.

• Members are allowed to pursue their own unique interests and be their authentic selves without fear of criticism, judgment, or retribution

In functional families, people are allowed to be themselves. They are not at risk of being expelled from the family because of their identity, interests, or choices (that are safe and do not threaten the safety of others).