What to Say to Yourself When You’re Struggling with Secrecy in Your Family

Healing from a family that utilized secrets and lies can be challenging. It’s so important to utilize self-compassion and step into the powerful, adult version of yourself. These statements and affirmations can help you in moments when you’re struggling.

• “What happened in my family is not a reflection of my worth.”
• “The secrecy was never my responsibility to carry.”
• “I am not defined by what was hidden from me.”
• “Their silence says more about them than it ever will about me.”
• “It makes sense that I feel hurt and confused.”
• “I was a child who did the best I could with what I knew.”
• “It’s okay if I need time to process the truth.”
• “Right now, I am safe.”
• “I have choices today that I didn’t have as a child.”
• “I can pause, breathe, and remind myself that I am no longer powerless.”
• “I get to decide what openness and honesty look like in my family today.”
• “I have the right to create a family culture built on honesty and trust.”
• “I can honor the past while choosing a different path for my future.”
• “I am allowed to question things and to know what is real.”