Dysfunctional Family Traits

Typical Qualities Of Dysfunctional Families

• Caregivers say one thing and do another
• Little to no empathy or understanding when someone makes a mistake or falls short
• Very little communication about family issues or emotions
• A culture of pretending everything is fine, even when it isn't
• Caregiver addiction or substance use that impacts parenting and other family relationships
• Caregivers are unreliable
• Caregivers are controlling
• Nothing you do is good enough and there is an extreme culture of perfectionism
• High level of criticism of your abilities
• Little to no independence or privacy
• No emotional support
• Physical and/or emotional abuse or violence

What Children May Experience In A Dysfunctional Family

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you may have had some of these experiences. If you're raising your own children, these are some of the things that they may experience in a dysfunctional environment.

• Being asked or forced to take sides in caregiver or parental conflict
• Being told one thing and seeing another
• Criticism for feeling
• Being ignored
• Caregivers who are inappropriately intrusive/involved or distant/uninvolved
• Excessive demands placed on their time or no guidelines or structure
• Rejection or preferential treatment
• Encouraged to use alcohol/drugs
• Physical abuse
• Sexual Abuse

How Family Dysfunction Happens

Family dysfunction often happens as a result of an interplay between a variety of complex factors. It's not an exact science. Just because you experience one of the things listed below, it does not mean you will automatically experience family dysfunction. These events or circumstances just make it more likely or more difficult for a family to function.

Some things that may lead families to struggle with cohesion and developing healthy patterns:

• Dysfunction in your family of origin: You often repeat what you know and what you've experienced
• Mental illness or mental health struggles: Symptoms of certain mental health diagnoses may make things more difficult
• Addiction and Substance Usage: Research shows that addiction and substance usage impair parents and make it more difficult to form a connection
• Lack of resources: Lack of time, financial resources, housing, food, etc. will make parenting much more difficult
• Lack of information or support: People only know what they know. Many people are not trying to be harmful or malicious. They just don't know another way.
• Parental discord: Parents with high levels of marital satisfaction are more likely to demonstrate good parenting practices.