How To State Your Decision

These scripts are for the family that isn't used to you being an independent adult. The family that expects you to run big choices past them, that assumes you will agree, and that treats a different decision as a problem. If you are dealing with abuse, or with a family that responds to your choices with threats, financial coercion, or attacks on who you are as a human being, these are not the scripts for that situation.

I wanted to let you know that I have decided to ______. I have thought about it, I am confident in the decision, and I am telling you because you matter to me, not because I need advice.

I hear that you see it differently. I would rather spend our time together on something else.

I do not think I can explain it in a way that will satisfy you. It is not because I don't care what you think. I have already made the choice, and I want to enjoy the rest of our time together.

I know what you have done for me. I am grateful for it. I still don’t have to agree with you about this.

I notice this keeps coming up between us. I have made my decision and I am not going to change it. I would love for us to move on to what else is going on in our lives. Are you able to do that with me?