Asking to Be Known / Offering to Know

Five scripts for being seen accurately by your family, and for admitting when you do not see them accurately either. These are for a family that loves you and doesn't know you, or a family member you love and don't know. They are not for someone who has seen you clearly and rejected you. That is a different situation.

I think there's a version of me in this family's head that's a few years out of date. I'd love it if you asked me about ______ sometime, because I don't think you know that part of my life, and I'd like you to.

I’m not that person anymore. I know the family sees me that way, but I want you to get to know this new me.

I don't think you know me very well anymore. You didn’t do anything wrong, but I think I stopped telling you things about myself a long time ago, and I'd like to start again.

We want really different things out of life, and I don't think either of us is doing anything wrong. I do think it means we're going to have to be more curious and understanding with each other. I'm willing to do that if you are.

I want to know what you think, and I realized I've been guessing or just making it up in my head for a long time.