How To Communicate With Emotional Maturity While Triggered
When you're triggered, it can be easy to slip back into emotioinally immature styles of communicating.
We all can slip into emotional immaturity when we are overwhelmed, going through a hard time, or triggered. However, the more aware you are of your emotions and reactions, the less likely you are to take out those feelings on other people or react in ways that are not in line with your values.
It’s absolutely okay to express your feelings. However, you should ensure that you do so in a way that aligns with your values and allows the people in your life to feel safe and loved.
This guide will help you keep emotional immaturity at bay when emotionally activated or triggered.
- Get To Know Your Triggers
Develop an awareness of how your triggers manifest physically and mentally. This includes recognizing what scenarios trigger reactions and how you typically react. The more aware you are of what it feels like when you’re getting triggered, the easier it will be to pause before you respond. You can do this by using a journal, and it is helpful to navigate this process with a therapist.
- Learn How To Take A Break
One of the best ways to avoid emotionally immature reactions in relationships is to take a break. You may want to take a break when you feel your physical sensations and thoughts increase. You can tell the other person, “I’m starting to feel overwhelmed. Can we pause and talk about this in an hour?”
- Communicate Your Feelings
Emotionally mature people can label their feelings and describe them to other people. This can make a huge difference in your relationships. Instead of letting your behavior dictate what is happening in the relationship, make your feelings clear and known to the other person. You can tell them, “If I seem a little on edge today, It’s not you. I had a tough day at work, and I’m frustrated.” When you clearly communicate what you’re feeling, the other person doesn’t have to wonder or make assumptions about your mood.
- Take Accountability
If your feelings take over and you react in a way you’re not proud of, own it and try to be different next time. This is one of the most important tools in your relational toolkit. You can do this by saying something like, “I don’t love how I reacted. Can we start over? I want to try that again.” Or “I should not have reacted that way. I apologize for yelling, and I don’t want to do that again. Next time, I’ll take a break so it doesn’t get to that point.”