How To Respectfully Explain To Your Parent That They Crossed A Boundary

It’s easy for your parents to slip back into old roles, too. It’s essential to remember that your parents will likely go through their own period of role confusion as you become an adult or at specific moments in your adulthood. You may need to restate or explain boundaries when things change in the relationship, or you’re experiencing a moment of stress.

Some parents have exhibited a pattern of routinely crossing your boundaries. In that case, these scripts may not be for you. These suggestions will likely work best with adult children and parents who are not intentionally or maliciously crossing boundaries and simply need to be reminded or redirected. Use your own discretion.

How To Respectfully Explain To Your Parent That They Crossed A Boundary

• Restate the boundary. Try to explain the boundary clearly and calmly and restate your expectations.
• Ask if they’re having trouble understanding the boundary, and try to identify any questions or issues they may have.
• Reflect on how you have been maintaining and explaining this boundary. Is there anything you could do differently?

It’s possible that your parent:

• Does not respect the boundary
• Does not understand the boundary
• Is not willing to respect the boundary
• Needs time to practice respecting this boundary
• Is genuinely trying and made a mistake
• Is incapable of respecting the boundary

You will have to evaluate each individual situation and decide.