The Pain Of Grieving Someone Who Is Still Alive
Little Epiphanies: March 10, 2024 by Whitney Goodman, LMFT.
Little Epiphanies in your inbox every Monday by Whitney Goodman, LMFT.
3 Little Epiphanies
- A little bit of delusion may help you achieve your goals.
- Can conspiracy theories ruin your family relationships?
- Not a single family relationship is going to meet all of our needs.
"You can’t save them by losing yourself. And even in this, the most impossible kind of heartbreak, your peace matters, too. It’s so cliche, but you cannot pour from an empty cup. You will eventually become unable to help your family member, or your help will be ineffective."
- LISTEN: My Dad Kicked Me Out at 16. Now He Wants To Have Lunch
- READ: How To Grieve The Apology You May Never Get
- DO: Join me for a group this week (there are two!)
- WATCH: What To Do When Your Parent Won't Apologize
The Unimaginable Pain Of Watching Someone You Love Disappear In Front Of You
It’s like sitting in a room with red walls while they demand and protest that the walls are, in fact, blue.
It’s questioning your own reality, wondering, Is it me? Am I the one who’s wrong?
It’s rehearsing the perfect sentence in the perfect tone, as if the right words could finally unlock the door and pull them back into the light.
It’s wondering every single day if they’ll still be here tomorrow.
It’s a constant hum of hypervigilance that seeps into your bones. Are they okay? Are they eating? Are they sleeping?
It’s watching someone you love become a stranger, searching their face for the person you know is still in there.
It’s fumbling for answers when people ask how they’re doing and realizing you have no idea what to say.
It’s living from crisis to crisis.
It’s never fully relaxing because, at any moment, the bottom might drop out.
It’s watching someone drown with a life raft within reach—and knowing they won’t grab it.
It’s a helplessness so heavy you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.
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