ending patterns of generational dysfunction and trauma

Breaking Patterns: Realizing and Overcoming Family Trauma

March 8, 2024

Generations of adults continue to repeat the same harmful patterns they experienced in their own childhood.

Acknowledging familial difficulties is a tall order. It is a task so daunting that most individuals will spend their entire lives trying to shirk it. It requires a level of self-awareness and courage that can often feel insurmountable. However, it is a necessary step towards healing and breaking harmful patterns.

Realizing the Pain

It's a troubling irony that people who have been harmed by their parents are more likely to label themselves as "bad kids" rather than acknowledging the fact that their parents hurt them. Over time, this self-blame can evolve into a harmful narrative that shapes one's self-perception and relationships.

The Cycle of Harm

Another unfortunate reality is that generations of adults continue to repeat the same harmful patterns they experienced in their own childhood. This cycle often continues because admitting that one was harmed is a painful process. If we truly seek change, we must first come to terms with the fact that we were hurt.

If you're reading this, chances are you're at a crossroads. You're realizing these patterns and hoping to make a change. This process is not easy, but the fact that you're attempting to break free from these patterns is a testament to your strength and resilience.

However, many individuals get stuck in the realizing phase because it's overwhelmingly painful. At Calling Home, we’ve had countless members share their traumatic family experiences. When other group members validate their experiences and empathize with their pain, they may recoil. This reaction is not out of disbelief but rather a fear of accepting the reality and implications of their trauma.

Despite a genuine desire for validation, many people avoid it because accepting it would mean admitting that they're hurt and that someone hurt them. More often than not, the person who inflicted this harm is someone who was supposed to love and protect them. It's a hard pill to swallow, but acknowledging this reality is a crucial step towards healing.

Breaking patterns of family trauma is a challenging journey full of realizations and acceptance. It can be painful and difficult, but it is also a journey toward healing, growth, and, ultimately, a better future. Remember, it's okay to seek help during this process. You don't have to face these challenges alone.